Sounds a little odd for a title for a guy living in the bay which gets almost no rain, but my heart at the moment feels like it is standing there in the rain as dark clouds fill the sky....
Today, Anne and another friend (lets call him Mark) had two people exit their lives. Today, I pray that God and his angels protect and carry both Anne and Mark. Also that He carries them in their times of need so that their hearts can mend from their losses. I'll leave it with the following line from a Credence Clearwater Revival song:
"Oh, I wanna know..... Have you ever seen the rain? Comin' down on a sunny day...."
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Complexities in RL.
Went to SF with Anna today to see Hangover. It was a fun film about stupid people doing _very_ stupid things. Fun none-the-less though. While there, we talked about a few things, and I blurted out my feelings that I have for her.... Let's just leave it at I'm not out of the woods yet, and I don't think things will be uncomplicated for a while, but I could be very wrong on this, we will see....
Saturday, August 1, 2009
A Little More Clarity, and a Huge Dose of Letting it all Out...
OK, just so anyone that might read my blog might understand what I'm going through at this time, I'll elaborate a little on the two line post I did earlier. For the sake of all involved, I'm going to change people's names to keep from hurting someone.
Over a year ago, I met this gal (lets call her... Anna, that's a good enough name). At the time, she was seeing someone, but she was nice and we got to know each other through conversations and hanging out a bit. As time went on, I found that while her and I held different views on things, I couldn't get past the fact that I was drawn to her. Around mid to late summer last year, her and her s.o. (who also is a friend of mine) broke up.
Two factors at this point came into play: my lack of courage, and ill-luck of not having any time.
On the courage front, those that know me, know that I've been engaged in the past and that the relationship with my ex-fiancé ended very badly. So badly in fact, that it shrunk my courage in the department of asking gals out down to almost nothing.
Additionally, as ill-luck had it, I didn't get a chance to talk to her as much at that time since I was switching jobs and started working at a job that demanded more of my time. During this, her and I drifted apart, just due to not getting a chance to talk nor spend time around each other.
Fast forward to a month or so ago, and her and I get to spend more time together due to commitments in the outside activities that her and I share as a common past time. During this, I rediscover that I still carried the feelings that I had inside, and in many ways, they were stronger than before due to well, no better way to say it than "distance can make the heart grow fonder."
During this, however, I got a few small hints that she was seeing someone. I thought they were joking.
I was wrong.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to go over to her apartment to see a movie together (as had been planned last week.) However, at this point, I'm not sure I should. I don't think I can change my view of her from "I love you" to "we're good friends" without some time apart again. I know it's bad form to be jealous, but dammit I am and will likely continue to be for a while. And I really don't want to be since if it makes Anna happy that she's with her new s.o., then I should be happy for her too.
Now you, dear reader, can better understand why I say: The Dream is Over.
Over a year ago, I met this gal (lets call her... Anna, that's a good enough name). At the time, she was seeing someone, but she was nice and we got to know each other through conversations and hanging out a bit. As time went on, I found that while her and I held different views on things, I couldn't get past the fact that I was drawn to her. Around mid to late summer last year, her and her s.o. (who also is a friend of mine) broke up.
Two factors at this point came into play: my lack of courage, and ill-luck of not having any time.
On the courage front, those that know me, know that I've been engaged in the past and that the relationship with my ex-fiancé ended very badly. So badly in fact, that it shrunk my courage in the department of asking gals out down to almost nothing.
Additionally, as ill-luck had it, I didn't get a chance to talk to her as much at that time since I was switching jobs and started working at a job that demanded more of my time. During this, her and I drifted apart, just due to not getting a chance to talk nor spend time around each other.
Fast forward to a month or so ago, and her and I get to spend more time together due to commitments in the outside activities that her and I share as a common past time. During this, I rediscover that I still carried the feelings that I had inside, and in many ways, they were stronger than before due to well, no better way to say it than "distance can make the heart grow fonder."
During this, however, I got a few small hints that she was seeing someone. I thought they were joking.
I was wrong.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to go over to her apartment to see a movie together (as had been planned last week.) However, at this point, I'm not sure I should. I don't think I can change my view of her from "I love you" to "we're good friends" without some time apart again. I know it's bad form to be jealous, but dammit I am and will likely continue to be for a while. And I really don't want to be since if it makes Anna happy that she's with her new s.o., then I should be happy for her too.
Now you, dear reader, can better understand why I say: The Dream is Over.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Can't You See I Love You?
Here, in this room,
being so close,
it pains my heart.
I hear the joking,
you have another,
it tears me apart.
A tender touch,
a word of comfort,
what more must I do?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
The things you do,
draw me close,
though we're worlds apart...
I'm here believing,
with our differences,
we could make a start.
A tender touch,
a word of comfort,
what more must I do?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
being so close,
it pains my heart.
I hear the joking,
you have another,
it tears me apart.
A tender touch,
a word of comfort,
what more must I do?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
The things you do,
draw me close,
though we're worlds apart...
I'm here believing,
with our differences,
we could make a start.
A tender touch,
a word of comfort,
what more must I do?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Mm, can't you see I love you?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
So close, yet so far away....
Warning: emo-like rant ahead!
Having ready communication to a person that you care for, but don't know if they share your feelings can really eat at a person. I'm able to talk with her daily, however since it's a "public" forum, it makes it that much harder to ask her out. Why is it that courage just won't come to me? That and the constant reminder that she could say no is right there in front of me.... ah well.
Having ready communication to a person that you care for, but don't know if they share your feelings can really eat at a person. I'm able to talk with her daily, however since it's a "public" forum, it makes it that much harder to ask her out. Why is it that courage just won't come to me? That and the constant reminder that she could say no is right there in front of me.... ah well.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Two Things SUCK In This World....
There are two things that suck in this world:
1. Being single and not wanting to be
2. Being single with an interest in a certain woman and not moving forward fast enough.
'nuff said.
1. Being single and not wanting to be
2. Being single with an interest in a certain woman and not moving forward fast enough.
'nuff said.
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